2:27 am

Ah I don’t know why life feels so meaningless, so empty, so void of substance. I just feel like I’ve been trying hard to make my life worthwhile and there’s never any use in trying. My life feels empty. I feel empty. I feel so unhappy. I feel so unaccomplished.

1:06 am

I had a very nice day today, I must say. I enjoy going out on my own and walking around the city. I really enjoyed walking around downtown this afternoon, especially because it is a Sunday, and I always think of Sundays as gloomy days. Today I went out and went inside a nice coffeehouse. It had old furniture and squeaky wooden floors. It’s open 24 hours during the weekends, and I really think I might come every once in a while during busy weekends when I can’t sleep. 

I sat outside on the patio, and I saw an old jeep, on its back window it had “I love life” written in cursive with some sort of white marker. It sort of made my day. It made me a little bit happier. 

Now I’m listening to Coldplay and feeling a teeny bit nostalgic. But that’s alright with me. 

1:34 am
tags:personal  feelings and thoughts  

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2:13 am

My coworker today was telling me about a guy that asked her out, and how the way he asked her out was super clever and cute. And then she asked me if I had a boyfriend, and it dawned on me that I haven’t been romantically involved with anyone in over a year, and I was like damn. Like, I really need to start dating. 

I only dated one person throughout high school, and I feel like it’s time. And I’m crushing so hard on someone right now, and I need to date them. That is all. I just want to go on a cute date, and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for from the universe. 

11:11 pm
tags: ·personal
“ I won’t beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn’t have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that. ”

Ming D. Liu, A Story A Day #138 

(via mmmmilk)

Literally everything that I learned after my breakup, and everything I needed to remember when he tried to start talking to me again.

(Source: mingdliu.com, via runningtobefree)

8:50 am

Today’s my birthday! I hate birthdays, but I’m going to try to make the best out of this one. Here’s to turning 19.

10:35 pm

I haven’t eaten all day because I’m super broke and have to cook and I don’t want to cook. But I’m really looking forward to coming home to a hot cup of coffee.

5:33 pm

So I’ve gained a little bit of weight, and over the years I feel like my weight has started to distribute differently. I used to have absolutely no waist, and I looked like a ruler. And now I sort of really like my boobs, but I want to lose like 10 pounds and I know my boobs will disappear again and that’s really sad fml

2:47 am

Sometimes I can’t help but feel incredibly empty inside— like there’s things I must stack to fill my insides with something worthwhile. The shelf inside me is empty.

4:01 am

Do you ever realize just how ugly you are and hate yourself a lot? Like, a lot?