3:26 pm
tags:personal  

I woke up this morning and, as always, I had to convince myself that I should eat. It’s a constant battle. I’m having second thoughts, but I have to make myself eat. I’ll have breakfast at 7.

9:46 am
tags:personal  

I woke up this morning and, as always, I had to convince myself that I should eat. It’s a constant battle. I’m having second thoughts, but I have to make myself eat. I’ll have breakfast at 7.

3:28 am
tags:personal  

I’m resolving to start working out 5 days a week, no excuses. This isn’t entirely about weight. Like, I really need to workout out more and lift and shit. Like, I just need to take care of myself more. So I need to work out Monday through Friday because I’m a lazy piece of shit on the weekends, and I sort of want to keep it that way.

I’m going to give this a try all of this week. Also, I really need to lose like 10 pounds because running and because I want to get faster, and I’m not at my best weight. I need to set realistic goals and this is actually pretty realistic. A good weight to race for me is 100 pounds and I’m going to get there no excuses. I just have to put more effort.

Tomorrow, I’m running 5 miles! Yeaaaaaahhhhh. Here we go.

I can’t fucking sleep, but I’m going to wake up early to run, no excuses. Then, I might take a nap.

11:18 am
tags:personal  

I have to run 5 miles today. The hardest thing is getting out the door. I have to decide whether I want to run inside or outdoors, though. The sun is already out, so I don’t want to die. But I hate running inside :( meh

2:05 am
tags:personal  

I bought a notebook and now I don’t know what to write in it.

5:14 pm
tags:personal  

I feel like I’m fucking up pretty badly in each aspect of my life. There. I’m not sure how my grades are looking for the end of the semester, but I need a 3.8 :~( meh

7:41 am
tags:personal  it's almost 5am  

Don’t know why I ever thought I wanted to major in Political Science. It’s all such bullshit. I want to make things, and be creative. This is torture.

12:45 am
tags:personal  

Why is it that sometimes I’m doing just as much as anyone else, and I’m not even 1/3 as happy as everyone else. Why do I bother keeping myself busy with shit that doesn’t even add up. Why do I try to keep myself doing things just so I don’t go insane. Nothing even matters. And I’m so unhappy and I hate everything. And maybe I’m just incredibly ungrateful, but I’m so fucking tired of pretending everything is okay. It’s not. I hate myself and I see no point in trying. I don’t see anything good in my future. If I could end it all today, I probably would. Fuck this.

11:42 pm
tags:personal  

Ran 2 miles today and managed to run them at a 8:13 average pace. I wanted to run 3, but I’m recovering from those 8 miles on Monday. Even though I feel pretty good about these two miles, I feel like a total fat piece of shit today. :( meh

11:47 pm
tags:personal  

It’s sleepy time. I was wanting to head to starbucks and probably get a granola bar and coffee, but I should go to bed. I always get the urge to snack at night, but I’m quite sleepy, so I’ll take myself to bed. I can get coffee in the morning and do some light exercise. :~) goodnight babies

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